“There are these five ways of subduing hatred by which, when hatred arises in a monk, he should wipe it out completely. Which five? “When you give birth to hatred for an individual, you should develop goodwill for that individual. Thus the hatred for that individual should be subdued. “When you give birth to hatred for an individual, you should develop compassion for that individual. Thus the hatr…

All too often we think that getting in touch with our emotions is a means of tapping into who we really are—that we’ve been divorced from our true nature and that by getting back in touch with our emotions we’ll reconnect with our true identity. But your emotions are not your true nature; they’re just as fabricated as anything else. Because they’re fabricated, the real issue is to learn how to fab…

Another way of the good friend is they reveal their confidences to you. What they carry deeply in terms of pain, aspiration, regret or joy, they reveal to you. This is precious, this act of trust whereby a person can reveal what is difficult or sensitive for them. When that can occur your sense of friendship grows beyond just liking someone; you have been given their trust. And you must never betr…

A monastery can feel like a secure place. We leave the world behind only to join an exclusive society of robed, shaven-headed confrères with shared aspirations, striving to live by the highest principles. But don’t think that monks and nuns float around in saintly harmony and meditative bliss. Monastic community is a melting pot of temperaments and karmic predicaments – with the heat turned up and…

Once the Blessed One was staying among the Bhaggas in the Deer Park at Bhesakaḷā Forest, near Crocodile Haunt. At that time, Nakula’s father [Nakulapitar], the householder, was diseased, in pain, severely ill. Then Nakula’s mother [Nakulamatar] said to him: “Don’t be worried as you die, householder. Death is painful for one who is worried. The Blessed One has criticized being worried at the time o…

What is the appeal of love? In the initial stage, it is an effective antidote to boredom for those who find life stale, uninteresting, filled with only drudgery or emptiness or for those who feel lost with no purpose for living. Love can create excitement and meaning. Falling in love is intoxicating, a welcome agitation. Powerful emotional ups and downs—as if regularly falling into hell and then r…

I have heard that on one occasion the Blessed One was staying near Rājagaha at the Bamboo Forest, the Squirrels’ Sanctuary. And on that occasion, when Ven. Upasena Vaṅgantaputta was alone in seclusion, this line of thinking appeared to his awareness: “What a gain, what a true gain it is for me that my teacher is the Blessed One, worthy and fully self-awakened; that I have gone forth from home to t…

Ānanda: ‘Sir, fully half of this religious life is good friendship, good companionship, good association.’ Buddha: ‘Not quite so, Ānanda, not quite so. It is the whole, not the half, of this religious life, this good friendship, good companionship, good association.’ (S.V,2) Although self-reliance is an important foundation for spiritual practice, we can also greatly benefit from the support and…

We can say that the retreat formally closes this evening; this is the last day. But what really makes today special? The mind creates time, schedules. We come to human agreements. We say ‘beginning,’ ‘ending.’ These are all qualities that are imputed, determined, agreed upon. They don’t have any existence in and of themselves. As Luang Por Chah said, ‘The things of this world are merely perception…

We can see how the Buddha says over and over how spiritual practice is something that goes against the ways of the world, goes against the stream of sensuality. So, when we embark on this, it can be a little bit daunting and can seem rather negative – we have to give everything up, be very good, and then we’ll be happy. This can seem a difficult thing to do; it seems like self-sacrifice, going aga…