I remember when I first told people that I was going to be a nun, one immediate response was, ‘Well, how selfish! Isn’t that awfully self-centred?’ My reply was, ‘Yes. It’s completely self-centred… but until I can understand my own suffering, my own difficulty, I’m not going to be able to help anybody else very much.’ Although I wanted to help, I saw that my capacity for serving others was very li…

The harmless selves in your toolbox are the ones you want to encourage, to put to use. Now, it may seem ironic that part of having a strong sense of self is that you try to make the self as harmless as possible. We tend to think of people with a strong sense of self as often being careless in their treatment of others, but that’s not genuine strength. The more you harm others, the more you’re crea…

One word mentioned in the Mettā Sutta is nipako. It is often translated as wise, chief, or highest. Bhikkhu Bodhi translates it as discretion and talks about it in terms of worldly skills or practical wisdom. One way to reflect on this translation of nipako is in the realm of human relationships. By looking back on a conversation, for instance, we can ask ourselves whether we had been gentle and…

For me, the issue of respect is a major one – it touches into what can be a chronic lack, a lack that we experience as having no worth. This sense whirls one along a track, in a semi-conscious way, of seeking accomplishment, security or the approval of others. And as with all confused needs, no matter how much one gets, it isn’t enough. This is because we’re looking for an inner foundation of self…

“Monks, these two are fools. “Which two? The one who doesn’t see his transgression as a transgression, and the one who doesn’t rightfully pardon another who has confessed his transgression. These two are fools. “These two are wise people. “Which two? The one who sees his transgression as a transgression, and the one who rightfully pardons another who has confessed his transgression. These two are…

Curious to try hermetic life, in 1999, I stepped outside the monastic cloister. The following years without the support of the sorority were a test of my refuge, compelling me to rely on the qualities of compassion and forgiveness as never before. Still bound by monastic precepts, living on my own stirred feelings of anxiety and insecurity. From day to day, I did not know how my needs would be pro…

In changing what we do, we change who we are. The Buddha strongly emphasized the importance of recollecting our generosity and our virtue. It may not be something we are accustomed to, but if we don’t notice the good that we’re doing and appreciate it, our old, limiting patterns will take over. We might be afraid that we’ll get conceited if we allow ourselves to really feel the joy of the good tha…

If you’re the sort of person who’s open and honest, you’ll find your window for disbanding suffering and defilement right where you’re honest with yourself, right where you come to your senses. You don’t have to go explaining high level Dhamma to anyone. All you need is the ordinary level of being honest with yourself about the sufferings and drawbacks of your actions, so that you can put a stop t…

One of the things that I realised is important in my own practice is to support this sense of faith - faith that it is a practice worth doing, that it brings good results, and that I too have the capacity to practise and achieve these results. In the teaching on Dependent Origination, one of the links is that faith arises out of suffering. This might sound a little strange but, in a sense, it’s ob…