In several suttas, the Buddha points to cāga as a quality that facilitates harmony. Cāga is an interesting word. It means giving or sharing and also giving up. It’s not only the quality of generosity, but also the ability to give up our fears, views, and opinions—things that end up creating moods and feelings of disharmony.
Another quality the Buddha points to that facilitates harmony is piyavācā—endearing, timely, and kindly speech. We use piyavācā in all our interactions, such as when we express our wishes, needs, and requests. With piyavācā, it is said, our speech will be “loved by many.”
It can be a challenge to apply piyavācā when we’re tired or when we’re dealing with a lot of people at the same time. Cāga too, can be difficult, especially when we’re feeling stressed or fearful. But they’re both part of the training. We train to recognize when our speech isn’t endearing or kind and then we reestablish our intention and start again. Likewise, we train to recognize our resistance to sharing or giving up and then make an effort to let go.
By starting over with a new intention of cāga or piyavācā, we again place ourselves in a position of creating harmony.
This reflection by Luang Por Pasanno is from the book, Beginning Our Day, Volume One, (pdf) p.222.