The whole training of our life is learning to listen, to feel things out, to begin to question our assumptions, our self-positions, our ‘me’ and ‘thems,’ our designations of what we are as individuals, the hardness of our relationships with one another, our sense of indifference to the world of creatures and our obsessions in relation to the world of materials.
We are in a process of changing our relationship to one that is in true alignment. ‘What is suitable now?’ ‘What is the right way now, with this person, at this time?’ and so on.
That’s the essence of the training, so that the citta can be found, released and activated in terms of wisdom.
As you develop the quality of deep attention, ask yourself, ‘What’s of worth? What’s helpful? What’s suitable now?’
Put aside everything else: expectations, disappointment, self-imagery, other people, the past, the future, because as soon as you touch any of them you might start proliferating.
Of course, you can decide to deeply attend to another person or to your memory of another person, but then it’s up to you to know what’s happening. There’s nobody else: you’re dealing with your own perceptions, impressions, feelings, interpretations and responses, and the citta is aware of them.