Love tends to get intertwined with other emotions, making those who have never considered it closely mistake the emotions associated with love for a part of, or indeed expressions of, love itself. Usually, for example, rather than considering worries and jealousy to be impurities of love, we take them to be a proof of it, and thus gladly harbour such feelings. We tend to blind ourselves to love’s impurities. It is alarming how easily the defilements (kilesa, i.e., negative mental states such as greed, hatred and delusion), which can destroy love, sneak inside a heart ignorant of the Buddha’s teachings (Dhamma). Most people are like the owner of a home with a wide opening instead of a door. Anyone is free to enter or exit such a house and it is no surprise that thieves abound.
This reflection by Ajahn Jayasaro is from the book On Love pp. 2-3.