Mettā

Who isn’t touched by acts of kindness? Who isn’t moved by the intention to ‘pervade the all-encompassing world - to others as to myself - with a mind imbued with kindness - abundant, exalted, without boundaries, free from hatred and ill-will’? Or by the phrase ‘even as a mother protects with her life, her child, her only child - so with a boundless heart should one cherish all living beings.’?

The ideal of goodwill (mettā) expressed in these phrases from the Buddhist tradition is one that is shared by all spiritual paths. Kindness is immediately and obviously a big part of what spirituality, and true humanity, is all about.

We can all experience good-will towards some being at some time. And we can all lose touch with that bright way of relating - especially to ourselves. So it’s valuable to bring to mind that each of us has at some time been on the receiving end of freely-given good will. It’s one of the recollections, or ‘five-minute meditations,’ that we need to undertake throughout the day.

I have done this myself for years, recollecting any specific acts of kindness of just this very day and dwelling on the emotional resonance of that - and so far I have never found a day when someone didn’t offer a kind word, ask if I needed something, or even talked about our conflict in a gentle and a non-hurtful way. With all of this I acknowledge: ‘They didn’t have to do that.’

So when you’re feeling bitter, anxious, or lonely, remember this: at some time you have been seen with a loving and sympathetic eye. Stay with that impression, breathe it in and out and extend it.

Also recall: no matter how mean you may think you are, you experience good-will towards something. We all do — they say that even Hitler loved his dog.

However, it’s clearly the case that for most beings this channel of goodwill gets blocked from time to time by a flood of ill-will. Therefore we need a means to carry the heart across the floods that submerge our fellow-feeling.

And when we make the resolution of kindness, not just towards kittens on a nice day but even towards cockroaches on a bad day, when we include dictators and brutal maniacs, as well as all aspects of ourselves — then we’re making mettā into a perfection, a vast and transfiguring way of life.

The result, the fulfilment of the pāramī, is a mind that is grounded in wisdom and compassion and which easily opens to the peace of Nibbāna.

This reflection by Ajahn Sucitto is from the book Pārami, Ways to Cross Life’s Floods, (pdf) pp. 171-172.