The natural pattern of the deluded mind is to think that suffering happens outside of oneself – that there is something or someone out there to blame: ‘The reason why I am upset is…’ Each of us can fill in the blank with our own story; someone or something outside of ourselves has hurt us, irritated us, upset us.
We come closer to the truth by recognising that we’re upset because our minds are generating random or obsessive thoughts that can feel very disturbing. We do not feel in control or in a state of equilibrium. So we attempt to find order in our mind by changing or adapting to our conditions.
That’s part of being a social creature: we try to ‘fit in’.
This reflection by Ajahn Sundara is from the book, Awakening Presence, (pdf) p. 44.