A Source of Wisdom and Refuge

Our inner life is one that will tend to draw our minds out of the present moment and into past and future. If we can be aware of our inner life and yet remain steadily anchored in the present moment then we will become aware of this steadiness.

Clearly seeing and knowing our mental and emotional phenomenon we will come to know the one who knows, and this is the refuge. The essence of this knowingness is a transcendent state, transcendent element to the mind. It’s not pushed around.

I first really discovered this years ago when I had a long retreat, a very good meditation retreat. Just after that retreat I hurt my back very, very badly, indeed. I was in agony for many days, could find no rest from it.

And yet, this knowingness, the knowing element of the mind remained steady throughout that experience when I could contact it. Then I found myself working very hard to sustain my mindfulness and wisdom to keep awake and aware, to keep the knowingness going. Because the essence of that, the knowingness, the knowing quality in and of itself, was beyond the pain.

I wouldn’t have wished for that experience in any way at all – I didn’t know pain like that existed. Quite a serious injury, it taught me a lot; it gave me a lot of faith in this particular element of the mind both as a source of wisdom but also as a refuge.

This reflection by Ajahn Kalyāno is from the book The Thread, (pdf) pp. 47-48.