Becoming whole and staying connected is a matter of relating to our head, body and heart in a balanced and peaceful way. ‘Things are like this now.’ Even when we feel sick or bad or confused, if we relate to that experience for what it is, as a condition and not as something that we are – isn’t that a way to be at peace; a way that has clarity and freedom?
On the other hand, even when things aren’t that bad, notice that the tendency is to identify with what’s happening and want it to be another way – either to last longer or to change into something else. So rather than relating to experience as it is, we tend to react to it in these get it/ get rid of it ways. And because of that, there’s a sense of me having the disagreeable, or being separated from the agreeable; and consequently there are feelings of loss and inadequacy.
Generally, the way it happens is that there’s a resistance to feeling uncomfortable through physical pain, embarrassment, grief, fear or uncertainty. So I go out of the heart and into my head. And with that, the agitation of the uncomfortable feeling and the avoidance of it gets translated into ‘I’ve got to do something, I’ve got to be something.’ I have to do something so that other people will give me the message that I’m OK. But I don’t know what I have to do, and I can’t ask them what I have to do – because that would prove that I’m not OK – so I have to keep busy.
And meanwhile the body is struggling along underneath; and awareness of the whole process is shut down or impaired by the agitation. Because of this we’re not really aware of where we are, so we have to rush around to get somewhere. A lot of the time that’s what people are doing – rushing to get somewhere else and then rushing to get back again.
In this rush there’s no time to be feeling anything, or enquiring into our actions, because we’re too busy. This is pretty normal, isn’t it? This is business, this is high performance, this is sport. This is the programming that we are in at this particular time.
This reflection by Ajahn Suictto is from the article, “Good Enough.”