I can imagine this is a shock to most of you, and I regret any disappointment it may cause. I have thought long and hard about this decision, and it was not easy to come to a conclusion. I have been a monastic for 24 years now, my entire adult life, and I have no small reticence about leaving something I love and know so well. Yet I feel that it is something I must do if I am going to overcome some basic difficulties in my life at the moment.
This has not come about through a crisis of faith or lack of confidence in the tradition. I have unbounded respect for LP Pasanno and the community of monks, and I aspire deeply in my heart to make it back to the robes, be it in this life or in some future life. I simply feel that now is not the time to be a monk, and I must make a move.
My plans, though somewhat tentative, are to rent a room in Santa Rosa, work and/or go to school. I very much still want to be near enough to the monastery so that I can plug in from time to time. I am sure our paths will cross in the future, so until then,
With much gratitude and appreciation,