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On Monday, November 10, Abhayagiri friend J. died. Just hours after his passing, Dennis Crean, who was present for J.’s death, wrote the following email, which he has generously allowed us to reprint in this issue of Fearless Mountain Newsletter.

Friends,

I just got home after nearly 24 hours at the hospital. It's been a long day for many of us.

I'm sad to report that today was J.'s last. He passed away peacefully at 6:00 p.m., surrounded by his friends.

Last night turned out to be fairly uneventful for J. under the circumstances. Four of us sat with him throughout the night. He surpassed everyone's expectations and continued to breathe steadily, albeit with a few rough patches, on into the morning. He seemed to be comfortable and didn't show signs of real pain or distress. Probably the worst part was a fever that reached 103.6 degrees. The very kind nursing staff helped reduce the fever with ice packs and showed up every few hours to wash him and change his position.

The same scenario unfolded for much of Monday. His fever was down. His pulse gradually weakened by the afternoon, and his breathing became much shallower. Several other community members spent good chunks of time with J., and there were several chanting sessions for him. He received a lovely bouquet. Around 5:30 p.m. and in anticipation of heading back to the monastery after two days or so at the hospital, Ajahn Pasanno led some Paritta (protective) chanting for J. There were about eight of us present with him. J.'s breaths became noticeably less frequent during this time. After the chanting ended, a nurse was unable to measure his blood pressure because it was too low.

As we discussed plans for spending another night at the hospital, we thought that J., being the private fellow he is, might actually like a short bit of time to himself. He'd not been alone for a few days. So a couple of us told him we would all leave the room for a while to give Page 2 of 2

him some space. (Although he remained unconscious throughout the entire day, we figured he could hear us on some level). Ajahn Pasanno re-entered the room only a couple of minutes later, but within even that short span, J. had already seized on his moment of solitude and breathed his last breath. It was 6:00 p.m.

For the next half hour we sat quietly with J.'s body and did some more chanting. We then notified the nurse and doctor, who declared him deceased. The hospital staff had already agreed to allow us time to clean and dress him and to offer funeral chants. We slipped him into his jeans and flannel shirt. We put on his "trademark" round wire-rim glasses, his amulets, and his mala beads. More community members arrived from Abhayagiri, as did a few other local lay friends. We chanted for J. and spent some time with his body. At around 8:30 pm it was taken to a nearby crematorium.

Thanks for all your kind words and moral support from out in the wider world. I'm sure J. was just as touched by the generosity shown to him by all of his friends as we have been by his own generosity to us over the nearly seven years he's been in our midst. Personally, I was very inspired by the love shown to J. by the monastery folks (ordained and lay supporters), and I truly felt the warmth that results when a community gathers to care for one of its own in his time of vulnerability.

Kind regards,
Dennis

The following poem was written by J. not many months before he died.

Red tail hawks wind surfing
on Pine Mountain
Sky blue—deep turquoise
Sun stuck at one o’clock

The warm breeze
on a September afternoon
Soarin’ on the mountain
Today…free!

Pine & fir scent thru
the slope on Pine Mountain
Such a fine place
To be…


Gerald A. “J” Stieber-Buckley
Died November 10, 2008