Boys Will Be Boys

Friends and relations of Todd Tansuhaj (Nathan pictured far left)

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Two years ago Tatcha Tansuhaj, fondly remembered as Todd, passed away after a long struggle with thalassemia. We return to Abhayagiri Buddhist Monastery where Todd ordained as a novice monk before he went into treatment for the disease. This has become an annual pilgrimage for Todd's parents, my Aunt Patriya and Uncle Chusak. They invite family and friends to gather in remembrance of Todd and all the things he brought to our lives. Todd's friends Bennett, Sunny, and Steven flew down with us this year. Another of Todd's friends, Brandon, drove down with his mother and little sister and met us there. Flying down to Abhayagiri with three young boys, two of whom had just arrived in Seattle after a long plane trip from Pullman, was much easier than I had first suspected. Little did I know at the time that this calm was merely a dastardly ploy to lure me into a false sense of security and to leave me unready for their plans once we touched down in California. The boys clearly had a strong love and appreciation of life, which they did not hesitate for a moment to express vocally. Unfortunately Uncle Chusak, who was driving at the time, did not quite appreciate the youth and vitality there boys were instilled with. Aunt Patriya assigned me to be the “Big Brother” of the group and to help keep the boys calm and quite. However, as history has proven time and time again, this method of keeping order lasts only till a coup brings down the current leader and instills a new more “capable” one in its place. I breathed a sigh of relief as we pulled into the monastery driveway. I had put down several rebellions and knew that I had neither the men nor munitions to last through another one.

After our first night of trying to get a group of boys to quite down and go to sleep—not an easy task while they are busy playing video games—I was starting to wonder what I had gotten myself into when I had agreed to be Page 2 of 3

responsible for the boys. However, as the boys grew accustom to the monastery, I could see that these initial fears weren't really all that bad. All of the boys had a very good understanding of what was expected of them in a monastery and were very respectful to the sacred space as well as the monks who live there. While they were at the Abhayagiri the boys were actually quite calm--as calm as a group of young boys can be anyways. They had inquisitive minds and had no end of questions for the monks. I was pleasantly surprised when they asked me a few questions and sat through my long winded explanations and stories on various topics. By this time I had grown quite fond of all of the boys (Faith, Brandon's sister, too of cores) and was thrilled that they showed such interest, regardless of whether or not this carries on with them later in life. However, a question still lingered in my mind. Why was it that while most people my age, much less their age, show much interest in monks and monasteries they could be so fascinated by this world they currently found themselves marooned in? The answer came later that night during Ajahn Pasanno's Dhamma talk.

Ajahn Pasanno spoke to us about Kalyana Mitta or Spiritual Friendship. Spiritual or noble friends are people who encourage us to do and seek good things through leading that life of good themselves and being an example for others. It seems to me, that for these boys, Todd was a spiritual friend whose example leads us all to this day on a path towards good things and away from bad. He is a reminder to take each day we are given and make the most of it, smiling the whole time. As Todd himself once came to this monastery, in his memory, his family has given many the chances to experience this fearless mountain and the monks who live on it. They have sponsored many of my trips here and have always encouraged me to delve deeper into those Page 3 of 3

sacred teachings that these monks dedicate their lives too. I am always grateful for all Todd and my aunt and uncle have done for me. Todd's life full of both happiness and hardship has taught me many things about the nature of this life. I feel that, like a hand-print on one's heart, Todd has left a lasting impression on all of us.

It is unfortunate that Todd passed away as young as he was. While many of us reminisce about our childhood friends, those are they only friends he had. I’m glad that those friends of his would come back to remember him. I hope that in the years to come and later into their lives they will continue to remember him. We will all remember him with that childlike wonder and innocence that many long for. However because he was still quite young, I would not be at all surprised that, when Todd left this life for his next one where he is one step closer to realizing the deathless he absentmindedly left the door open behind him.