July 10

We made it!

Early in the walk I mailed my journal ahead to lessen the weight of my pack. Today I was pleased to read on the first page,"I commented to Billy that we were a long way from Thunder Bay." Billy responded, "You are all the way away from Thunder Bay."

Arrived at the Arrow River Forest Hermitage on Friday evening July 8th. Father William graciously drove us the seven hours from Collegeville, Minnesota. The drive was beautiful, especially the 150 miles along Lake Superior. Seeing that stretch of Rt. 61 made me regret that we were not able to walk that section.

When we arrived at Arrow River it took me only a few seconds to realize that maybe it was a blessing we have not been walking the last three months. Before we could unpack the car, we were already swarmed by mosquitoes. Ajahn Punnadhammo said it has been a very wet year and thus the mosquitoes are really bad.

Most of the pilgrimages and peace walks that I read about, at the conclusion of the journey the participants went through a period of depression. I thought that wouldn't happen to me since the "walk" stopped back in March. But today I feel an empty pit kind of feeling in my stomach and I see my mind want to label it as depression. Part of the feeling could be the inconvenience of the mosquitoes and it is unseasonably hot here right now.

Despite the low feelings I'm experiencing, I'm also happy to be here. Yesterday afternoon Austin and I waded across the Arrow River to cool off in a deep pool below some waterfalls. While I was drying off in the sun, sitting on a rock in the middle of the river, I got a sense that all the life and energy from the forest will be good for my health. The eighteen hours of sunlight each day is also conducive to energy as well. It stays light until 11 pm. This is due to the fact that Thunder Bay is in the Eastern Time Zone. Thunder Bay is several hundred miles west of Chicago!

This morning we said good-bye to Father William. He has hoping to make a mass in Grand Marais, plus he has a long drive to get back to St. John's Abbey. I told him I was sorry I was not able to show him around to the bookstore, library, guest lounge . . . I was able to show him his cabin, the pit toilet and the bathing hole in the river. We laughed that now Father William may know what it was like for the first residents at St. John's Abbey back in the 1850s. Who knows maybe in 2150 Thunder Bay will have a small Buddhist University with a monastic community.

So the pilgrimage is over. What happens next is uncertain. Several options exist and more may unfold. Last week Ajahn Pasanno gave me his blessings to continue the walk next year, but I'd need to get Ajahn Amaro's permission as well. Austin likes the idea of attempting a section of the walk, but his main priority right now is to pay off some college loans.

My health would need to be fully recovered and even then I'm not sure if i would want to stress my body again so soon. But, I'm keeping the possibility open. We started the pilgrimage with a fund. These funds were provided by many people who wanted to see us succeed. Today Austin told me that the fund is just about at the same level as when we started, even after all the train travel and one airfare! We have also had some gear donated which we received after we stopped walking. Also we made many contacts with people in Iowa, Wisconsin and Minnesota.

I have to admit right now the idea of walking makes me ill. But on my more energized days, I see the desire to give it a try. The hardships of weather, insects and uncertainty of finding places to sleep make the prospect of another attempt look not so inviting. Father William pointed out the miraculous aspect of the pilgrimage we just completed. When we needed shelter we were inside a church, when we needed a ride one materialized . . .

It's all uncertain.

I will attempt to write at least one more entry. I would like to take this opportunity to thank everybody for the support we received. We know we could not have completed this walk without the kindness and support of the hundreds of people who helped us. Thank you!