Currently the monkey mind is inhabiting the highest reaches of the canopy of imagination. It swings past the end of the pilgrimage and far into the future. In all instances it is the hero accomplishing all of its goals with ease and grace. It is thinking up situations and conversations that will never happen and has the right answer for all of them. It always knows what to say and do. Bravo! Lets give it a pat on the back and then a nice firm kick in the pants. Does the monkey mind wear pants? Of course it does, that is what Tiggers, er monkey minds do best!

Over the last week my energy has, to reply in understatement, returned. So much so that it is very tiring. I sit unflinching in meditation with no drowsiness and little pain, but the mind will not sit still. I made the mistake of having a cup of green tea a couple nights ago before meditation. It was as though I had consumed an entire pot of coffee. I usually have tea before meditation without ill effect. I felt very high, like at any moment I was going to sail off into another dimension. If this sounds at all pleasant let me assure you it wasn't. I tried diligently to ride it out peaceful, but it was so rambunctious that it kept bucking awareness off.

Mono trained me to work through low energy and poor health. It taught me how to be at ease with fatigue and how to posture the body and mind to ward off dullness. It left me completely unprepared to deal with the dervish of good health! Before I had to stoke the fire and now I have to reduce the boil. Or, not so much reduce the boil as learn how to put the energy to use. I think training the mind is like building a dam. Whether flood or drought it releases an even flow.

We are coming to the end of our time here at the Bhavana Society and as much as the mind wants to race off into the future endings tend to inspire reflection. The practice of Buddhism is very subtle. Though the Buddha's teaching is right here at each moment it is hard to see. One must uncover it with concentrated effort and then investigate it deeply. I can see that a constant effort is required for the practitioner to achieve understanding. Old habits grow back as quickly as the Kudzu vine overtakes the forests of Mississippi.

When this pilgrimage is over I will return to lay life. I have the intention to eventually become a monk, but I have significant student debt to repay before I can act on that intention. It has been such a blessing to be able to devote this period of my life solely to practice. I think of all the acts of generosity that have allowed this pilgrimage to take place and I feel quite humble.

Knowing the strength of habit I worry that my old pal laziness will cuddle up next to me and whisper sweet nothings in my ear lulling me towards delusion. Yet at the same time I know what practices lead to an experience of joy and peace that trounces any other experience I have ever had. Though what I have experienced is not the final fruit it calls me to come and see. Once you have faith in a way leading to freedom from suffering why take refuge any place else?

I was just about to write good acts lead to peace of mind, but that is only true in part. As important as the act itself is awareness of the act. If one does not pay attention to the heart while acting then one misses the full benefit of the act. When you lend an elderly person support to get up a staircase do you do it out of habituated manners, or with the desire to receive praise? Or, do you do it having set aside selfish notions and habits and fully offer yourself to that person for the duration of the act? Being mindful of the heart while acting is transformative. How could I ever neglect this?

The Buddha talked about the highest blessings for the spiritual life. Two of those are associating with the wise and hearing the Dhamma frequently taught. These two things are the highest blessings because they are teachings, one by word, one by action and they are also constant reminders to practice. Without these things present in your life it is easy to have larger and larger gaps in mindfulness. I am afraid of acting heedlessly. I have seen how harmful the outcome of heedless actions can be with direct experience. Even if the actions are not harmful they are not very useful if you are not paying attention to them.

I believe that Jotipalo just wrote about how Karma is our refuge. In other words our actions are all we have got. Bhante G. said, “If we own one thing it is our actions.” Volitional actions are the only thing in this universe that we have control over. We chose whether to act in a wholesome way or an unwholesome way. This seems simple enough, but many times what we tell ourselves is wholesome is not really wholesome at all.

This is why moral restraint, concentration and wisdom are the three elements of practice that all things stem from. Moral restraint points the way to good action while concentration and wisdom are still weak. It also provides the Karmic foundation for both. Refraining from harmful acts allows peace to arise in the mind, which in turn allows wisdom and concentration to develop. As they mature they deepen the understanding of what a wholesome act is and lead to the release of self-serving ideals. Eventually with the perfection of concentration and wisdom moral restraint becomes effortless. I only know this last bit through indirect experience. I have seen many unwholesome habits of mine fall away and in situations where before it would take effort to be skilful before, now I can be skilful with ease. Based on this experience I assume that at the end of the path there ceases to be any desire to do anything but wholesome acts.