June 16

Today is the 108th day since leaving the comforts of the Finney’s home in New Orleans. At this point in the pilgrimage I thought we would have been closer to Sperry, Iowa or Joy, Illinois. In terms of latitude I think we are about on course, longitude-wise we are about 850 miles to the east.

I decided to write today for two reasons. June 16th is the date of Venerable Ajahn Chah’s birth. This day is celebrated at his monasteries all over the world. In Thailand many monks will show up at Wat Pah Pong, the monastery Ajahn Chah established, to pay respects and listen to teachings. June 16th, 2000 was also the date of my Bhikkhu ordination. So I’m five years old today! My novice ordination was in July of 1999, so I like to say I was ordained in two different centuries.

The 108th day of the pilgrimage falling on Ajahn Chah’s birth date seems auspicious to me. The number 108 is considered to be an auspicious number in Buddhist cultures. Tahn Dhirapanyo was explaining that 108 comes from the multiplication of 12 and 9. The number 12 signifies a life cycle (like the 12 hours on a clock or twelve months on a calendar). The word for the number 9 in Thai means to start anew. Tahn Dhirapanyo thinks this is because many Asian cultures used to use an eight-base counting system.

This past week I have been reflecting a lot about the pilgrimage. It dawned on me that March 29th was the last day we walked. I was still thirty-nine years old that day. The next day was my birthday— so I have yet to do any walking tudong since I turned forty.

I’ve also been remembering some stories I had forgotten to write about.

Like Day Four: We had just walked twenty miles to reach the town of Sorrento, Louisiana. Austin went into a small grocery store to see if they had a pay phone. They did not, and that meant we had to continue walking even though our feet were blistered and we were exhausted. While Austin was inside the store I looked around the corners of the store hoping to spot a pay phone. What I did find, to my surprise, was a “live bait” vending machine! For a dollar it would give you a Styrofoam cup full of your choice of crickets, leeches, worms, night crawlers, suckers or larvae. I remember looking at that machine and thinking, “What in the world am I doing in Louisiana?”

On Day 23 we met a man we thought was a bodhisattva. I remember going to sleep that night thinking, "It's been a week since I thought negatively." I remember wondering at the time just how much longer that would last? The answer to that question turned out to be ten hours! I also asked the question, “I wonder what tomorrow will bring?” As if the answer to that question was going to be positive and cheery. I now realize that the answer to that second question was, “Mononucleosis!” Day 24 was exhausting for me and I wanted to stop walking all day long. That evening Austin had his first high fever.

March 24th was almost three months ago. A pattern seems to be emerging with the mono. It appears that I feel ill for about five days, then feel good for about three. So far the trend has been to feel slightly better each cycle and not as bad on the low end. It feels like the recovery is a slow upward moving spiral. On the good days I see myelf contemplating doing a section of the walk next year if conditions allow it. On the low energy days these thoughts make me nauseous. “Why would you even consider doing something so stressful to the body,” I hear my mind complain.

I’ve been trying to look at this desire, the desire to walk on tudong. Why can’t I just let it go? What is it I hope to accomplish? Is walking the best way to accomplish that? Do I think I’ll find something more bizarre than a “live bait’ vending machine? I have no answers as of yet, I’m just looking at the desire.

Our plans right now are as follows: On June 23rd we fly from Washington, DC to Indianapolis, Indiana. My friend John will drive us to Lafayette, Indiana where Dr. Jerry has offered to run some tests on me. Once the tests are complete we will take Amtrak to Austin's parents in Des Moines, Iowa. Austin’s dad has offered to drive us up to Minneapolis, Minnesota on July 2nd. I have several high school friends in or around Minneapolis and have made friends with several of the Common Ground Meditation Center people. Several people here have been very kind and supportive to us during the walk, so we just had to visit Minneapolis.

On July 5th Father William will pick us up and take us to St. John’s Abbey in Collegeville, Minnesota. Health permitting, either on the 7th or 8th we will drive up to Lake Itasca, which is the source of the Mississippi River. J. from Abhayagiri gave us some stones to throw into the lake, and we have been carrying them the whole pilgrimage. Father William has arranged for us to stay the night at the Red Lake Reservation, where the high school shooting happened this spring. St. John’s has a mission there. Then Father William will drive us to Thunder Bay. We hope to arrive on July 9th or 10th.

I’m a bit worried about Austin’s health. If I continue to have mono for six months or a year, that would be unpleasant but it will mainly be a burden to the communities where I live. Austin has to go back into the world and get a job. His old job at the Fire Brand sounded stressful for a 100% healthy person.

One lesson the Bodhisattva of March 23rd taught us was the power of prayer. It is interesting that at the beginning of the walk we connected with a lot of people by talking about prayer and we seemed to be on the receiving end of a lot of well-wishes. Maybe we still are receiving well-wishes and that is the reason our health has not gotten worse. So, I’m asking for prayers and sharing of merit to be spread towards Austin. May he quickly overcome this mono.