Meditation: A Way of Awakening - Chapter Eight

Ajahn Sucitto

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Ajahn Sucitto, an elder western disciple of Ajahn Chah and abbot of Cittaviveka Buddhist Monastery in England, has written a new book entitled Meditation: A Way of Awakening. This book is still in its production phase, and is yet to be printed. However, Abhayagiri Monastery is glad to be able to make this new text available via our website. We will be posting one chapter at a time, each Monday and Friday for six weeks.

The other chapters of this book that have already been published, are available at http://www.abhayagiri.org/index.php/main/teacher_other/C24

Process: Thinking, Emotion and Non-Thinking

….with the abandoning of unwholesome thoughts, one’s awareness becomes steadied internally, quietened, unified and concentrated. This monk is then called a master of the courses of thought. One will think whatever thought one wants to think and not think any thought one doesn’t want to think...one has made an end of suffering and stress. [M.20.8]

We suffer a lot through our thoughts; more commonly so in the West nowadays than through physical problems. And in meditation we start to recognize that any physical pains that we do have can be made much worse by the attitude with which we hold them. Much the same goes for pain from a mental, perceptual source. Thinking forms a significant part of the way physical pain is held; it is charged with emotional drives that give rise to that ‘trapped, desperate, this shouldn’t be happening’ mood. Then there are the pleasant sensations or mental states accompanied by ‘more of this, this is the way it should be’ and the neutral accompanied by ‘well, shouldn’t something be happening?’ Although these moods do the holding, they in turn are backed up and incited by the thinking process. ‘I was feeling OK until I started thinking about the rotten deal I got, or what someone else is getting, or the way it was, or the way it should be....’

Even when thinking is conducive to pleasant moods, it contains the drawbacks of restlessness and loss of receptivity. If the mind is over stimulated it stirs up Page 2 of 10

too much energy, and also diminishes the appreciation of the here and now. Thinking too much, we go racing ahead of where we’re at. With a head full of good ideas, we can get clumsy, impatient and insensitive, and so preoccupied that we don’t attend to the present moment or the person next to us. Perhaps even more fundamental than that is the loss of connection to our own bodily presence when thinking gets over stimulated. This can lead to any of the many unnecessary accidents that beset our lives.

And yet thinking is an important part of our lives and cultivation. So the Buddha taught two levels of mind cultivation: the first is to replace unwholesome, pointless thinking with skilful thoughts and use the resonating faculty to understand the effect of the thought. Subsequent to that one learns how to put all thinking aside in order to still and unify awareness. In the first case, we learn to take a moment at a time, acknowledge it with a very simple thought, and back that thought up with the more receptive resonating faculty. For example: breathing in with the thought ‘Bud-’ and out with the thought ‘-dho.’ Then evaluate: what is the feeling of this? What effect does it have? In the wider context, how we think affects how we speak (and the converse), so we learn to contemplate: ‘How is my speaking affecting others? What attitudes is it highlighting in myself?’ In all of this, the Buddha’s instruction simply is to acknowledge and lay aside the unskilful, and pick up and sustain the skilful. The struggle to do just that is what the following exercises are intended to address.

The second level of mind-cultivation deals with stilling the action of bringing a topic or object to mind. The following exercises also suggest ways of capturing the energy of thought and gathering that into the still alertness of concentration, to the degree of absorption (jhana). With reference to this cultivation it’s instructive to note that even skilful thinking occludes deeper receptivity and access to the territory which we Page 3 of 10

might call ‘the unconscious.’ Thinking taxes the energy that is shared with the body. In Buddha-Dhamma, mind, body and emotion are connected, and it is by gathering them together that we enter ‘concentration’ (samadhi).

The connection between thinking and emotion is perhaps more apparent; even academics get impassioned when talking about their pet theories, and Buddhist meditators certainly get fired up about their insights. If the emotion is wholesome and is encompassed by awareness, fine; it’s when the emotion is denied that problems arise, even around wholesome or neutral thoughts. We deny that such and such is ‘just an opinion,’ or that we have any partiality towards a particular view. However with the more powerful emotions, we’ve all noticed the bodily effects: the tightening and heat associated with anger, the stomach churning of worry and anxiety, the paralysing and numbing effect of shock, and the brightening effects of love and joy. A keen attention can discern the somatic and emotive effects that accompany any thought. When we can discern and moderate these we can either think skilfully, or stop thinking.

In this we begin to handle the thought-energy (vaci-sankhara) – which is such a powerful factor in our lives. Investigating its emotive energy (citta-sankhara) helps us to see through apparent ‘objective rationality’ to the undisclosed attitudes and biases that engender suffering. If we can master thought, it can be used for specific clarity and discernment, rather than second-hand generalisations.

Hence one of the aims of the meditation exercise below is to touch into the emotion underneath the thought, reveal and allay or balance the emotion. Emotions tend to convince us with a smokescreen of rationality, or capture us by their power. Also, even if we are keen to allay an unsupportive mood, we can’t always change our mood by reasoning or aspiration; and in that stuck state we can add more emotional and conceptual material to the mix with a depressed or guilty mood. However, in meditation we develop the skill to relate to the somatic effects of an emotion, rather than add more emotions or thoughts to Page 4 of 10

it. Whereas our emotional sense can add conviction and vitality to an angry or righteous stream of thought, it is impossible to maintain such thinking with a calm and open somatic state. Hence the great advantage of tackling the emotional state by referring to the somatic state: the body is not convinced by justifications, and has no opinion about our emotional balance. It just knows, ‘this feels stressful, better to let go of that’, ‘this is uplifting, it’s good to follow that.’ There is development in terms of calm and insight.

Of course many emotional states are affirmative, and all that is needed is to find balance within them so that we can manifest them in a sustainable way. We may, for example, find ourselves unable to handle or express our affirmative moods; or on the other hand overwhelm or dominate others with a positive but insensitive energy. Then again it’s easy to overlook more far-reaching or ethical issues through being charged up over one aspect of a competitive sport, performance or social gathering. Or we develop an undiscriminating infatuation with a person, rather than a more rounded-out appreciation. However, if we can contemplate the emotional texture of thought – how inspiration or joy affect us – then there is the possibility of sustaining and steadying that effect. This leads to the skill – which is referred to in the next tetrad on mindfulness of breathing – of steadying a positive affect to the degree where thinking can cease. Deep concentration and well-being can be realized through the stilling of all thought, and the abiding in uplifting states. And with that comes the recognition that happiness is an energy within us, rather than something that has to be catalysed by events and people around us. So we don’t have to need (and miss out on) good times. An accomplished meditator can use their appreciative and enjoyment faculties to support and bless others, or to abide pleasantly in the here and now.

The cultivation of perceptions, thoughts and emotions is a large part of all Buddhist meditation, and of life Page 5 of 10

in general. In this we can always benefit from checking and penetrating the energy of thought, and below are a series of exercises, or tips, to help with this. These don’t form one exercise, but offer particular ways of getting a handle on the thinking that can occur while attending any meditation theme.

Initially, just keep cutting off the stream of thought by acknowledging it and returning to the meditation theme. Determine to put the topic aside and consider the value of so doing. Contemplate the state that the mind is in when caught in even the most entertaining thought. Is this going anywhere? Is this a good use of this occasion?

After returning frequently to the theme in this way, and finding that the mind is not settling, contemplate the flow of thought, the topics that come up...is there one that seems to be most prominent? Some may be secondary: thinking about the thinking, or compensatory: thinking that takes one away from the primary concern, or arising due to the disturbed energy of the mind. Ask: what is of concern here?

Consider the thought in the following way:
• How does the topic of thought affect my life?
• What areas of concern does it touch into?
• What would it be like if this thought were not here?
• Can I determine and resolve to follow that line of thought? If not, why keep it going? If so, what stops me from acting on it?
• Considering all these, is there a particular action or process that I feel moved to undertake?
Then determine to follow that action, or process, step at a time, in way that now seems appropriate.

If this doesn’t serve to quieten and unify attention, listen to the thought-stream, ask it to repeat itself or provide more detail. Note the change in rhythm, tone of inner ‘voice’ and how certain images or phrases stick out in terms of intensity. Note also any pauses, drops or rises in levels of intensity. Bring up the intention to put the Page 6 of 10

topic itself to one side for a while, and ask what the primary feeling is. There may be a few, so ask which is the dominant one. Don’t be in a hurry. Repeat until you feel certain. Note how that mental perception and feeling affects the bodily sense: whether you lose your sense of body; or feel tight or hot or unsteady. Above all, whether the specific emotion is one that pushes out or one that sinks you down, notice the general ‘stuck’ mood that comes with an unresolved thought-process. Without losing reference to the specific mood, deal with the overall ‘stuckness’ that makes it seem so much what you are.

Ask what the overall ‘stuckness’ needs: space, firm ground, empathy, release...what would that feel like? Rather than trying to get rid of the mood, bring that sense of interested empathy to it. What aspects of practice evoke that sense? Is there need for kindness, or letting-go? Is there a respected person who embodies that? Bring those perceptions to the mood. Turn that theme over and over in the mind, contemplating the moods, perceptions and energies that come up. Back this up by reflecting on the ‘stuck’ perception that the distracting thought brings up, no matter how justifiable or interesting its topic. Note whatever accompanies the shift to letting go and incorporate that into your theme.

If there is a freeing up of the ‘stuckness,’ how does the original topic now seem? Can you allow it to settle by itself? If it’s unresolved, is there room to live with it? What would allow that room? Consider: what immediate shift in awareness creates that space, and how does it feel? Or, if there’s something – a need, a grudge, an attitude – preventing that shift, is there room to be with what prevents that shift? And what creates that space? Without dismissing the topic, review it from that space. Does this present a fresh insight into the attitude that underpins and holds the thinking process?

In responding to the stuckness with interested empathy rather than rigid attitude, we may Page 7 of 10

suddenly realise a fresh approach to the topic of thought or the mood that it brings up. It may have been a matter of finding the right space, rather than holding it all tightly.

If the thinking process continues to run on as before, or you couldn’t bring the previous process into fruition, try going to the overall sense of the body and relax that, breathing in and out steadily. Don’t concern yourself with changing the thought, but of settling the awareness to more fully receive the effects of the thought. Keep focusing on areas of the body that seem disturbed, held or contracted, relaxing them, opening them up to the thought and its perceptions and feeling. Transfer the thought-energy into the embodied awareness, mixing and mingling the two as you sit, stand, or walk.

Attuning to the rhythm and energy of the thinking, ask if it’s possible to slow it down a fraction in order to meet that energy more completely. Keep slowing it until the thoughts are at ‘walking pace’ and the spaces between them are discernable. Contemplate the arising of each thought out of the space, and assist in the formation and moulding of each thought. Help it along, like supervising a toddler trying to walk. As each thought begins to subside, help it to its rest like helping an elderly person into their seat. Feel what it’s like when the thought has rested. Be willing to help the next one to its feet.

Try combining this with ‘aimless wandering.’ That is, think of standing up, feel which parts of the body come alive with that thought – then relax the thought and remain seated. Do this a couple of times, then follow the thought by standing up mindfully. Evaluate how the body feels now, in itself and in relationship to the space immediately around you. Listen, and let your open eyes attune. Bring up the possibility of walking, and of just following the direction that feels good. Noticing the bodily and emotional effects, follow that direction with a couple of slow steps, staying Page 8 of 10

in touch with any interest or apprehension that arises from any of the sense-bases. Maybe it feels too warm or cool, and so move towards where it feels better; maybe some small detail of what is around you, a picture, an array of stuff on a table, an image on a shrine seems to attract your attention. Recognize that, relax any intensity around that, and move towards what attracts attention, a step at a time, reflectively. If you feel like standing still for a while, do that. Avoid locking into any of the attractions or impulses, or locking them out. Avoid any written material, TV, radio etc. Avoid contacting another person unless they have given specific consent. Remember to attune to all the senses, but stay connected to the bodily presence as you move or stand.

After an appropriate period of time, return to the sitting position, even if it’s only for a few minutes.

In these ways we use the power of extending awareness over the thinking-consciousness so that its activity is gradually calmed. In the ‘aimless wandering’ we extend awareness through all the sense-bases, again while slowing down the activity of the mind so that the arising of attention and intention can be recognized and calmed. Breaking the rhythm of the thought-process in this way checks its emotional surge, without creating an emotional surge or thought-process to oppose it.

Alternatively, with thoughts that one rather treasures and tends to indulge in, bring up some inquiry. Break into the stream with the question: ‘Who is thinking?’ The stream will break momentarily, and then flow again, perhaps in response to your question. Ask the question again and again, to the main topic or any responses to the question itself, breaking the rhythm of the thought-flow until you can apply that question to the beginning of the thought. Contemplate that area where the thought emerges. What is the energy and perception there? Who or what is that?

The final resort – perhaps to be used in an instance where one is about to act – is Page 9 of 10

to suppress the thinking process with a bodily action, such as pressing the tongue against the roof of the mouth, holding the breath or clenching the fists. We might resort to such measures when we ‘bite our tongue’ to check an unskilful comment or a giggle.

Difficulties

The primary difficulties arise from being entranced by the thinking, so that the wish that the thinking stop does not rally enough mindfulness, energy and know-how to bring that wish to fruition. To simply suppress the thinking or to deliberately think its opposite (replacing a thought of malice with one of loving-kindness, or of sexual desire with one of the unattractive aspects of the body) is a straightforward strategy, but the mind may soon lose interest and enthusiasm in carrying it out. The crucial point here is whether the spiritual faculties are strong enough to come out from the mesmerising effect of an obsessive thought. The heart responds to, and even hungers for, heightening and intensifying effects, and the intensifying effect of a hindrance, especially sense-desire, has a magnetic pull that may be too strong for one’s limited stock of willpower, mindfulness and faith. Worries seem to be urgent and responsible responses. Similarly, when one’s mind is obsessed by a grudge, the practice of loving-kindness may come across as dismissing or glossing over a legitimate complaint.

If none of these forms help you....

Try writing down the thoughts, on the condition that you will not preserve their written form. As the thought-process unfolds and you write it down choicelessly and without editing, stay in touch with the moods that flow through the mind. When you choose to end, consider why. Read what you have written with open-minded interest, as if it’s written by somebody else. Who do you think wrote that? How does that person feel? Can you experience some kindness, compassion or interest in that person’s well-being? Consider the stream of thoughts in that way. When you have finished, respectfully incinerate the paper.

Alternatively, talk your concerns out with a skilled listener.

Further

In any Page 10 of 10

of these, contemplate the space that is there at the ending of a thought. What is the perception of that space – large, bright, cool, warm, attentive, silent? What is the mood of that space – serene, friendly, awesome, concerned? If it lingers for a few seconds or more, contemplate how it relates to your body: for example, is your body inside it, or is it inside your body? But slowly...add these considerations only as is suitable to supporting the space, and its silence. Let the sense of space or silence be the ground for mindfulness of whatever mood arises. Holding to that ground will allow the mood and thought to pass. Whose is the mood? Whose is the silence?

With the thought-stream as one reference, and the absence of thought as the other, and with an ability to at least step back from the proliferation of topics within mental awareness, we get in touch with more subliminal and residual emotions. These manifest as a familiar pattern of feeling that seems to be very much what ‘I am.’ This level of the emotional bias which is felt as ‘my self’ is the focus for the ongoing liberation of the heart – which means not trapping that apparent self in any view or attitude. Allow it to be what it is and change as it will.

So keep a sustained awareness of that feeling, that sense of who you are, without trying to change it in any way or even understand it. Learn to maintain an empathic and steady presence and attune to any changes, shifts of feeling or energy that occur. Just allow the relationship between your watchfulness and your felt sense of self to mature. And of course, be on guard against any analysis!